Becoming aware, or Waking Up is enormously freeing.
Wow.. I am not my emotions, I am not my thoughts, I am everything.. , I a nothing…, I am love..
Like Plato said: “I am not the movie of my life, but the screen unto which the movie is projected.”
What a freedom, what a relief!! Life becomes a party.
Wow.. I am just here to be Me!!

But awaking can also be very painful. Becoming aware how you have always projected your emotions unto others and the pain that caused is not easy to feel.
It hurts. A lot!
Becoming aware of all the times you ignored yourself and crossed your own healthy boundaries, just out of fear of losing the other, hurts.
Becoming aware what you do to get approval and appreciation and feeling how just far you have lost yourself in the process, hurts.

Up and then down again

The path to enlightenment first goes up and then down again.
The upgoing energy is all about manifesting yourself fully here on earth.
Manifesting yourself from the earth energy in every chakra.
It starts with the first chakra. How safe do you feel on earth? Do you feel safe as a woman (if you are in a woman’s body)? Do you feel safe enough to be yourself, without adjusting yourself to others?
And how safe do you feel for instance when your job is on the line? Does your whole life fall to pieces or do you have the conviction that everything will be alright?
The second chakra is about your sexuality.

Be honest;
How often did you think:
If only I would lose 5, 10, 20.. kilos, then I’d be happier?
If only my partner would be at home more often, then I’d be happier?
If only my children would help clean up more, then I’d be happier?
If only my mother would love me more, then I’d be happier?
If only my boss would appreciate me more, then I’d be happier?
If only the weather would be better, then I’d be happier?
If only my body would be healthy, then I’d be happier?
If only I would have another job, then I’d be happier?
If only my husband would see me, then I’d be happier?
If only my neighbours would be more considerate, then I’d be happier?
If only I had more money, then I’d be happier?
If only one would accept me the way I am, then I’d be happier?

A second film from one of the Energetic bodywork sessions

In Energetic Bodywork  the sexual energy (Universal life energy) is used to take away blockages that are stopping the natural flow of energy. Experiences in life, traumas, thought patterns and also false ideas you have of yourself, cause these blockages in your life energy channel.
Through energy transmission the channels open, making these blockages become clear and hereby dissolving them.
Because of this, more and more energy can flow through the channel, which causes other blockages to loosen up and get swept away in the stream of energy.
This creates space, space to be yourself.
With the energy flowing freely you can experience bliss and/or an orgasmic feeling. A tremendous calmness emerges (no more stress) because it is hard to stay in the mind. Also you will feel more love. You get closer to your Self, to the essence of who you are.

28 february 2012:

Here we go again.. I’m lost, I just don’t  know anything anymore .
The rug was swept from underneath my feet, vanished into thin air.
What stayed is emptiness and nothing to hold unto.
This time I can hold this feeling with love, but I remember the first time this happened, about three and a half years ago. A couple of months before I started my lessons Universal Awareness. Totally in panic I called my spiritual teacher. Sobbing I told him that I just didn’t know anything anymore, that I didn’t know how to move on, that I didn’t know which of my memories were still true, that I didn’t know what I wanted anymore, let alone what I was supposed to do.
All that time my teacher was listening quietly.

When I was done raging, he said very peacefully: “How nice, I am so happy for you!”